Wednesday, November 03, 2004

God Damn It

I'm sitting here in the relative safety of my Blue State cocoon, dumbfounded and frankly scared by the events of yesterday. I know there are supposedly a lot of different issues that went into the decisions yesterday, I know there are a lot of reasons to be angry and to be confused... but frankly, it just hurts to feel so alienated.

It would be one thing if it had been close - but it wasn't even near close. There was a difference of almost four million votes between us and them. It makes me feel sad to think that all the effort we've spent the last two years, all the anger and motivation and outrage, it just wasn't enough. At the end of the day, they had more voters than we did, simple as that.

Democrats can't really speak to the issue of "values" as cultural conservatives understand it. Most liberals hew pretty close to libertarian on civil rights and personal privacy issues. For them (that is, many non-GLBT liberals who agree with me and Gavin Newsome on this), they can't directly approach the issue of marriage defense, because its patently offensive on the face of it to even consider that you shouldn't extend equal rights to all members of society. Most of these liberals just can't even conceive of the type of mindset that would make those decisions: how do you discuss doctrines of hate in a rational matter? You don't, because - or so the thinking goes - it demeans everyone to bring these issues into the political discourse. The assumption on the part of liberals has always been that a silent majority of Americans agree with them and share the values of tolerance and acceptance and a strong desire to fight bigotry. No-one wants to think that they're fellow citizens are filled with hate, but this is the reality brought home to us blue-state liberals as a result of yesterday's voting: there are intractable moral divides which we can never cross on these issues. They are fueled by hatred, we are not. There can be no reasoning.

And apperantly the major swing issue was morality. Voters in eleven states voted to change their state constitutions to make the possibility of gay marriage moot. There's no way to reason with that kind of unreason: most of those people probably disapproved with the President on at least one, possibly more major issues in his platform and his record, but the fact is that morality was the issue that made them pull the lever and vote for the bigot. That's scary, because this is a divide that cannot be bridged by compromise. I know there are all sorts of fine people in the "Defense of Marriage" movement who go out of their way to make sure everyone knows they're not bigots or hateful, prejudiced rednecks or whatever... but I can't see their excuses, all I see is hate and fear. They can argue all day until they're blue in the face that it's not about hate, but how else am I supposed to feel? I didn't choose to be a trans-gendered six-foot green half-Superman/half-Batman freak. I didn't ask to be born this way, I just was. If they have a problem with it, they should take it up with their wonderful God, not me.

So, I'll continue on with my life, trying to make it one day at a time, breath by breath. I'm glad I live where I do, I'm glad I have the friends that I do and I'm glad for the support from my fans all over the internet. But it'll be a little bit harder to get through the days now knowing just how
much hatred there is in the middle part of our once-great nation. If I lived in a small town in Oklahoma or Mississippi, if I was a lonely closeted GLBT kid in a conservative small town, I'd probably want to kill myself. That, my friends, is the legacy of hatred.

Some oddly appropriate words came to me recently when I was thinking about this - off the Flaming Lips' brilliants Clouds Taste Metallic album:

Evil Will Prevail

With loving hands, and their arms are stretched so wide they can’t,
Seem to take a breath.
Knowing evil will prevail,
And a million people seems like a lot,
And a million people can’t be wrong...
With loving smiles, and their mouths are stretched so wide they can’t,
Even take a breath,
Knowing evil will prevail,
And the magic bullet is the glowing mother ship,
And the mother zaps you dead...
With loving hands, knowing evil will prevail,
Knowing evil will prevail,
Knowing that evil will prevail,
Knowing evil will prevail,
Knowing that evil will always win...

God bless you, everyone. We've all a hard road to hoe, but love will win. It has to.

1 Comments:

Blogger Chris Arndt said...

I think it's important to remember that all homosexuals share the limitations as heterosexuals regarding the legal choices for marital unions.

To pretend otherwise is to be deliberately dense.

September 24, 2006 at 10:54 PM  

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